7 Minutes: Free Write

Already thinking of film. Figured I should just scratch out some thoughts and see what happens. I'm in a bit of a strange transition. Just graduated. Not sure exactly of what I should be doing. Glad I'm going to graduate school and there's writing to be done. Could go to Latin America if I came up with a research majig on Latin America -- sounds kind of cool. Not sure I would ever do that, just thinking about that because that's what was entailed in my e-mail.

Film is kind of ridiculous. Spent the past four years studying it and after throwing myself into it this past semester, just really unsure. I mean, all that work and I feel like a crazy person even if people do say I was strangely calm and patient -- whatever. I haven't seen how this is worthwhile yet so maybe I should give it another chance, but seriously I just got my mind beat up. Guess I'll keep going because I have nothing else really to do. It's interesting to see what I can create in this little gap of time and see where it leads. These are pretty boring thoughts. I did just wake up so maybe my mind hasn't found any sugary awesomness yet.

I don't want to force it, maybe's there's times when forcing things is right. I usually don't think that way... forcing usually seems like you're trying too hard to make something seem right when I think things should naturally fall into place. Maybe this is some sort of sick philosophy I'm living by that could be destructive, or I don't want to be a control freak... maybe I've been studying literature too long and have found that I kind of like the idea that a character shouldn't die until necessary, or shouldn't be in a relationship till necessary, or that grapes are actually kind of tasty. There we go. That's more like a free write. I stay pretty focused and linear at times so this doesn't really work, but I'm an outlier in that my weird linear thoughts are typically on another plane altogether. Man, I sound pretentious. Need to do something about that. Probably get off my butt and do something.

There's so many problems in the world. It's so easy to be a naive little American girl who becomes all too altruistic. Not sure how I can really help out, if at all. I think I just need to tell stories whether or not they really make sense. Something like that. Birds.