Directing

I really should have been using this resource more throughout the semester. I'm at work and it's one of the more slow days.

This has been -- a life. I don't know, but I know I've thrown myself into film this semester and have been able to face my own strengths and weaknesses. There's a whole universe I've learned this semester, and I don't think that will stop if I continue to pursue film -- although, I like to say I'm pursuing creativity. Film is one thing, but I've found that I start to crave music or a good book -- or a really stupid sitcom.

I'm glad. A little confused, but glad. I could probably afford to be more honest, humble, and -- I guess patient? Apparently, that's been working in my favor. I've taken a lot of time to be disciplined in what I know to be true and to practice it. I don't just mean in art, but real subsistence. There's wisdom out there, saintly knowledge, and somehow I'm getting it. I don't know how, but it's honestly what is centering me and creating all these swirls of intelligence. And... I didn't know this would be happening in my twenties so I'm really surprised and not sure what to do with my mind; I guess just let it be. But I'm surprised, I didn't perceive that I would be thinking the way I am today.

It's a mess of a world. I happen to be extremely blessed in my undertaking of life. I think the real reason why I want to go into film is because I want people to find new perspectives. It's as simple as that, but so I'm not being such a cheat I'll expand on it.

There's so much suffering, enslavement, destruction, and just all around hell on this spinning globe that I want people to be aware, to start thinking in new ways, and to be touched in their minds and hearts. I want to inspire people to take on challenging tasks and to go and help those who are -- completely screwed by the systems we've created. But it's not just the suffering, I want people to know the truth, real joys, and actual solid peace, not some sort of fabricated false peace, real peace. I want the world to know that there are people in Africa who are -- happy. That they have a unique perspective and that we shouldn't limit our understanding to just what our society tells us, but we should go out and explore the world, be affected, and to conquer prejudices we may have built to protect ourseleves.

I'm against hatred of all forms. And maybe it's a little nuts to have someone directing films with these kind of thoughts floating around in their minds, but seriously, this is how I want to be innovative with film. It's only a blueprint. But I don't think I can do anything to change those in power; but I can help influence individuals and communities with their own perspectives. And, coming from someone who basically gets story telling, I think this is -- what I'm gifted in doing. So yeah -- I think my creative mind wants to be set free to start affecting people through film in a positive way rather than some of the infamous foils of artisans.

I can't believe how well this semester has gone. This project instantly had momentum and things fell into place magically at times. I don't understand it. I know it wasn't all me, it was an effort by many people, positive attitudes, a blending of geniuses.

There's only a handful of days before the showing, and maybe I'll write on here a little more -- doubtful, but a nice thought.

I hope that you find -- truth.